A Quick Word From Our Sponsors:

Tokyo, Japan. 2018.

Live your best Pre-Life!

Once a day for a randomly assigned minute you get to see your future. This is what we guarantee, this is what we promise.

Sounds too good to be true right? Not with ChronoCorp’s new Pre-Life implant.

Pre-Life what now?

Once a day an alert from the future gets sent straight to your mind. Utilising new Time Loop technology we take a picture of whatever your future self can see in front of them and send it back in time for your viewing pleasure. We call them Pre-Pics.

You get a full minute to see what you’ll be seeing in one, five, a hundred years. The potential of Pre-Pics is endless.

Imagine, seeing your children that don’t exist yet, countries you haven’t visited yet, food you haven’t eaten yet. These are all experiences and sights you can experience and see right now.

Hold on, what is this implant?

The Sequential Memory Image Line Enhancer or S.M.I.L.E. is the latest and greatest piece of time technology ChronoCorp has yet to present on a commercial scale.

It is a small expandable antenna that we insert in the base of your skull through a painless, simple and free procedure. It is calibrated and unique to your DNA and only picks up information beamed to it from your identical implant in the future. Think of it as a television that only picks up channels that are about you.

Transparency and honesty are key to our ChronoCorp ethos. Be sure to read the terms and conditions of each product before determining their suitability.

Alright but surely that’s going to be expensive?

Not at all! Here at ChronoCorp we believe everyone should be able to see through time. We’ve made it so the implant and installation of the implant is free* with no extra costs in store.

*In-app purchases mandatory.

This sounds incredible! Where do I sign up?

Send us a vial of your preferred bodily fluid and a comprehensive list of your family and friends (including social security numbers) and we’ll contact you in the next three business days if you are an eligible candidate.

FAQ:

Why are all my Pre-Pics blurry?

If the implant is not calibrated properly you may receive blurry images from the future. Please read the troubleshooting section of our instruction manual or contact your closest service professional if this doesn’t resolve itself.

I started getting headaches behind my ear when I first installed my Pre-Life implant. Is this normal?

Yes this is perfectly normal. Most subjects will experience side effects based around their implants including but not limited to:

⁃ Headaches (mild)

⁃ Headaches (extreme)

⁃ Nosebleeds

⁃ Hair loss

⁃ Itchy and irritated skin

⁃ Hallucinations

⁃ A sense of isolation and inconsolable loss

⁃ Piles

What happened if I don’t receive an image?

This means one of either two things. In the future you have ceased to exist or in the future you have removed your implant. Customers should note that improper removal of implant will result in a fatal solution.

Do the implant come in different colours?

They certainly do! As well as your standard primary colours we are proud to announce our new metallic range as well as our collaboration with the Democratic Republic of Disney to bring you a whole new way to express yourself.

Live your best life with Pre-Life!

Star(tled)

IMG_5692
Adelaide, Australia. 2017.

I suppose it wasn’t that long ago when the star fell from the sky. He was surprised at how small it was. Some may describe it as tiny. Though tiny, he reminded himself, is a relative term. I mean compared to an average sized elephant he was tiny. But compared to his old skinny jeans he was not.
He frowned.
Anyway. The star, relative to him, was smaller than how big he imagined a star might be.
How curious.
Although small the star was indeed beautiful. Beautiful in the way that all bright lights are. Like when you step out of the shower and stare at a fluorescent until you feel it in the back of your skull. Beautiful like that one second you’re blinded by a passing car that accidentally left their high beams on.
He decided he was going to touch it.
Now he wasn’t a physicist, he didn’t study astrology and he barely went to school. But he had Google and an imagination and he believed that this gave him at least some claim to the nature of stars. At least enough that warranted a further exploration of the matter.
So yeah, he was going to touch it.
It was cold in the woods and his breath warped in front of him, blurring the fallen star light steaming in the snow. He could feel a comfortable warmth coming from the star, even through his gloves. It felt safe.
He smiled and with face lit up by the soft glow he reached out.
Nervous. Excited.
There was a soft push in his belly, like a gulp moving backwards. Like when someone meets the person they’ll marry. Like when parents hold their child for the first time. Like when a child meets Santa and asks for a wish. He touched the star.
And was instantly incinerated.
Turns out stars are relatively hot. Maybe not so much compared to even hotter stars, but definitely when compared to an average sized human being.
Ash fell in a pile. The star continued to glow.