Serious nonsense.
Things don’t happen to me. I wake up, I go to work, I come home, I go to sleep. That’s it. Life is normal and uneventful and I’m happy with it staying that way. Until I found the mouth. It started with an itch. A tickling on the edge of my elbow and then there… Continue reading Moe’s Mouth
Live your best Pre-Life! Once a day for a randomly assigned minute you get to see your future. This is what we guarantee, this is what we promise. Sounds too good to be true right? Not with ChronoCorp’s new Pre-Life implant. Pre-Life what now? Once a day an alert from the future gets sent straight… Continue reading A Quick Word From Our Sponsors:
It was time. Finally. Shaking hands grip my bicep and without looking up from my phone I pull my arm away. My gum has lost its flavour which sucks. “This sucks.” I say. His hands move from my arm to my waist, pulling tight. The feather tucked in his hair tickles my nose and I… Continue reading Goodbyes Are Hard
Next to a broken set of drawers is a couch with the seat pillows missing and on top of the couch is a mattress and between the mattress and the couch is a dead body. I’m pretty sure it’s dead. The arm dangling down the side of the couch is bloodied and one of the… Continue reading Hard Rubbish
I check the cable ties again and frown. He’s sweating and keeps moving about so much I’m worried he’ll get loose. I’ve always trusted rope more than these stupid bits of plastic but the company won’t fork out for anything these days. ‘Superfluous and unreliable’. Idiots. I use a second tie around both his wrists… Continue reading Anything You Want, You Can Have.
I suppose it wasn’t that long ago when the star fell from the sky. He was surprised at how small it was. Some may describe it as tiny. Though tiny, he reminded himself, is a relative term. I mean compared to an average sized elephant he was tiny. But compared to his old skinny jeans… Continue reading Star(tled)
It is hot. It is bright. I left my sunnies in the car and my head hurts. There is a pimple on my neck and I scratch it idly. I turn to my cousin who is a cunt. “Hey can I borrow your sunnies?” “No.” Cunt. I squint up at the monolith in front of… Continue reading Flight & Fight
Here and nowhere else. 